A Vampyre by any other Name Would Smell as Sweet

I frequent a Christian room in Yahoo chat. Most of the regulars are a pretty nice bunch. We have Christians, atheists, pagans, and Satanists. We pretty much agree to disagree, and chat about other things than religion. Fellowship is an important thing, no matter what god or gods one might follow. Basically, we have the online version of a watercooler.

Unfortunately, we cannot control who enters the chatroom, and we get some very "interesting" people. For those of you who don't chat, there are some simple rules we tend to follow, out of courtesy's sake. Typing in all caps means shouting. Pming (instant messaging) people without permission (particularly strangers) is considered rude. Spamming (ads for websites and anything else), flooding (extraordinarily long posts), large fonts, and cutting and pasting text are also strongly discouraged. Most people learn the rules relatively quickly. A few do not. Yahoo has thoughtfully provided its users with an ignore feature, which works well on those who refuse to be courteous.

There are a few good points, and a few bad points to frequenting a Christian room. Cursing is frowned upon, although most of the regulars will forgive each other for an occasional passionate moment. There are fewer bots (computer programs that have a chat name, and sell sex online), and fewer people looking for companionship, to put it mildly. Sexual talk of any sort is limited, although the regulars occasionally flirt somewhat.

We often get teenagers in their rebellious stage, who come in cursing and mocking the Christian God. We also get a few adults who haven't yet outgrown such things. A quick ignore, and all is well.

Far more disturbing are those Christians who come in the room and expect to save the souls of all, whether we want our souls saved or not. Oftentimes, people apparently feel God isn't doing a good enough job policing humanity, and they step up to help. Two things seem to upset these people greatly: having fun, and unusual chat names.

There is nothing in the Bible that states Jesus laughed. This, of course, means that humanity does not have the right to laugh, or to play, or imagine, or simply to sit back and enjoy that which has been given to them. One must pray unceasingly. NOW!

I don't know about them, but if I were to pray constantly, I'd miss work, and I wouldn't get paid. I suppose when the bank kicked me out of my house, I could pray on the streetcorner in rags. In fact, I might score more points that way. We all know God keeps a tally, after all. Oh wait-- my apologies-- that's Santa Claus.

I am reminded of my favorite line in the movie "The Color Purple" Shug is explaining her version of God to Celie, and says, "It really pisses God off if you walk past the color purple in a field somewhere without noticing it." Were I to choose belief in a god, I would choose one that made the world beautiful, for our enjoyment and his. I would choose a god that could laugh and play, even get downright rowdy on occasion. What is the point of having life, if not to enjoy it? Even a cynic such as me can see the beauty in nature. It saddens me that these people cannot-- WILL not see.

One of the things that seriously bothers me is when people judge others on the basis of their chat names. One of my online friends has the name Vampyre (hence the title of this blog, for those of you who might be slow). He believes in a god that greatly resembles the Christian god, although he denies he is a Christian. Many, many people who say they are Christians give him serious grief about his name. Vampires, after all, are evil, soulless creatures, and to have a name that connotates evil means the bearer must be intrinsically evil. Vampyre is a very nice young man, and wouldn't hurt a fly. He is far more "Christian" than those who abuse him over his screen name. These people say hateful things, in the name of a loving god. This is something I cannot understand, nor can my friend Vampyre.

I speak of Vampyre as my friend. I don't know his real name, nor where he lives. I know what he does (or at least says he does) for a living, and I know his general schedule (when he'll be online, when he (says) he's sleeping, working, etc.), and I saw the picture he has on his profile. He knows my general schedule, what I do for a living, and that I'm trying to lose weight. We know each other well enough to commiserate over false Christians, and chat about the weather. In internet terms, we are good friends.

The yahoo room I frequent is full of such people-- people I have never, and will never meet in real life, and whom I will never really know. Yet we call each other friend, and ask after the family, the new job or car, cheer each other up when we are down. Some of the regulars have taken this friendship to the next step-- they consider each other part of their online "family". This seems a bit odd to me, but it seems to work for them.

Our need for human contact is amazingly strong. We reach out, from all corners of the globe, from all religious and ethnic backgrounds, searching for someone with whom to pass the time. And yet, we never go next door, and chat with our neighbors, or the pizza guy, or the mailman. All that we seek is within our grasp, yet we prefer fantasy to reality. And that, my friends, is the saddest thing of all.